I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
