Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
