I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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