Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
