My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
