I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
