You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
