Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
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Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
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Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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