so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
