gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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