I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
