see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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