honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
