Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
