The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
tell me about the eggs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
