he thought i was a dude.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
