I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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