Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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