I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
