i already hear my dad disowning me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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