Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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