absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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