but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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