her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
