Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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