oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
