somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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