i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The uberlube is also flammable
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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