I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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