so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
