I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize