god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
