i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
