I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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