I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
