my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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