So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
