My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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