Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
