I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
