You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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