How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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