do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am available for nakedness
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
