If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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