too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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