just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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