dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize