I am puke
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
