Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
