I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
