I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
