The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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