I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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