That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
