I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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