This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
