i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
