All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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